Birthday Theme!!!

So last night I got the bright idea that I was going to change my lip ring. Well, getting the old one out and putting the new one in wasn't a big deal. I couldn't get the ball back on though. I worked on it for a little over an hour and my lip was just too swollen to do anything with. I finally decided I would leave the ring in without the ball and hope that it didn't fall out. It managed to stay in until this morning but it just kept twisting and getting more and more sore. I finally decided to take it out completely.

Tyler and I took Josephine to mama after I got off work and we went to look for party stuff. We decided on the "Mod Monkey" theme for her birthday. It's bright green and pink with cartoon monkeys. I think it'll be really really pretty. I hope everyone will come but if they don't then that's fine too. We'll have a great time either way. :)

Well I'm heading up to bed! :)

Today has been a good day :)

Well, the title says it all. Today has been a good day. :)

I actually managed to be on time (barely, but it still counts!) for work this morning and the day there went pretty smoothly. I had to leave work to go pick up supplies for work from the grocery store, so I did all of my errands while I was out, which meant after work I got to come straight home to Josie bug. :)

When I got home she was so cuddly and she was in a great mood. I sat on the bouncy ball and bounced with and she just layed her head on my chest and played with my necklace. Gah! I love that kid.

I finally got the windows upstairs covered with plastic so maybe that will help insulate it up there and keep it cooler. I know it's not going to work miracles but it would be nice if it could drop it a degree or two. The maintenance man came and looked at the vents and everything the other day but he said it was so hot because we had the vents closed. Like, seriously?! I know the vents were open because I'm not a complete idiot and that was the first thing I checked. Oh well, maybe this will help.

I also brushed Josephine's teeth for the 1st time with her new big girl tooth brush today. It was hard to get around her tongue though because she just wanted to eat the toothpaste. Ha ha. I'm going to start doing it at least twice a day so maybe she'll get used to it. :)

Well, I'm gonna head up to bed. I'm working by myself tomorrow so I've gotta be good and rested up to deal with all the crazies. Haha.

Until tomorrow

Today has been........ yeah.

Well today has been very ugh. I was late for work this morning which I guess set the mood for the entire day. At work this morning, I was playing on my iPod and then it just froze. I turned it off to try to see if that would fix it, but it wouldn't shut off all the way. The Apple logo was still in the center of the screen. I decided I would just let it be for a while and when it did finally decide to turn back on, it said that I needed to connect it to iTunes. I was so incredibly frustrated!

So on my lunch break I plugged it up and it said that it had gone into "recovery mode" and that I would basically have to restore it and lose everything. I was literally crying. That was over 1000 pictures. Gone. I had no choice but to restore it, and then that wouldn't even work. I called customer service and they were absolutely no help (of course) and then they had the nerve to say that they were going to charge me $29 just for calling them. Needless to say, that didn't happen. lol.

After multiple attempts, I finally got my pics and stuff back from June 11th back to when I first got my iPod. But now my apps aren't on there and they're not in my iTunes either. Ugh!

Oh well, tomorrow has got to be better!

Ugh! Procrastination!

I haven't written on here in a few days because I am the worlds worst procrastinator. I get home from work, play with Josie, get her in the bed and then I think about writing on here, but I just never get around to it. I'm going to try my best to be more consistent with it.

So today while I was at work, I "liked" Huggies on Facebook and I saw where everyone had been posting on their wall saying that Babies R Us had jumbo packs of diapers on sale for $5! I printed out the ad and after work Beth and I went to Walmart. They price matched it and said that they had a limit of 5 packs. So I got 5 packs at Mama's store and 5 packs at the new Walmart. ( Funny thought: Why do we still call it the "new Walmart" when its been there for like 13 years? Hahaha)

By the time I got home, Josie was taking a nap in her play pen so I ran upstairs to get a shower. When I got out, I got to play with her on the bed for about 3 minutes then she went downstairs, Ty gave her her bottle and she was off to bed. I hate days like this. I hate being away from her so much. I don't want her to grow up and resent me for being away so much. I love her more than anything in this world, and I hope she knows that if I could stay home with her I would. But its just not possible right now. I don't know... I'm just bummed.

I didn't eat supper tonight either. Even after typing that, I know that I should go downstairs and find something to eat, but it's too late to eat tonight. I'll make up for it tomorrow. Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight world. Until tomorrow.

Coupons!!!!!!!!!

I've had a pretty good day today. :) After work, Beth and I went to a coupon class at the senior center in town. I thought it would be really stupid at first but I'm really excited now. :) She showed us how to "stack" coupons and end up getting stuff for free and she showed us sites where you get points which are redeemable for gift cards and even cash. I'm excited to get all this stuff started. :)

I can't wait to start school!!! I know I say that every year but then after a few weeks of it, I say I can't wait for it to be over. lol. I'm kind of frustrated though because normally they put our school money on our cards a few weeks before classes start so that we can get school supplies with it, but this semester they said that the money would go on 2 weeks after classes started. That's crazy! That means that I'm going to have to buy my books out of pocket and that's not going to be cheap at all. :( I'm also worried about how much work I will be missing. I'm definitely going to have to start working on Saturdays to try and make up for it. 

I've also been thinking a lot about what we are going to do when our lease is up here. I don't know if I want to renew it for another year, or look for another place. I really want to save up and buy a few acres of land and a double wide trailer (brand new!). That would take a lot of money and we just don't have that kind of money right now. I don't know if we should stay here where the rent is cheap, or move somewhere else. I guess we will just have to see how our finances are closer to that time. Who knows, I might win the lottery. lol.


On another note, I feel really bummed out because I only got to see Josie for a total of pretty much an hour today. It kills me that I'm always at work because I don't get to see her much and I feel like it's unfair to Tyler because he is stuck in the house all day. I feel like a bad mom because I wasn't even here to kiss her good night. I love that kid more than anything in the world, and I have to keep telling myself she is the reason that I have to go to work every day. I may feel bad about leaving her, but I'm setting up a good foundation for her and that is something I should be proud of. :)

Until tomorrow! :)

Birthday thoughts!

So over the past few days I have really begun to think about Josie's first birthday party. I'm super excited but I don't want to go too over the top with it. Before she was born, Tyler and I picked out a crib set that had a vintage flower design all over it and different size floral patterns in yellow, blue, pink and green pastels. We were completely in love with the pattern and I think instead of doing a "theme" for her 1st birthday, I'm going to go more shabby chic.

Wherever we decide to have it, I'm going to get solid colored table cloths and get some flowers for the centerpieces. I thought a cute idea would be to get live plants and plant them in little painted pots for the centerpieces. Then, when everyone gets ready to leave they can take the plants home with them. I think it would be a cute little party favor. 

I'm not sure on the location yet either. If I knew that the weather was going to be nice, we could have it in the field down by Whitney's house or down at the creek. I really want to have it at the creek because there is a shed/dance floor that's covered just in case it does rain.Another idea that I thought of would be to rent a room at the mall. The rooms are really big though, so to fix that, I thought we could use streamer to separate the eating/food section from the section where the kids could play. I really like that idea so maybe that will be the best idea. I'm not sure yet.



Well, I've cheered up a lot since the other day. I was just having one of those days where everything just sucked. I'm still working on my eating and I'm doing a really good job of keeping it in check. Tyler is helping me out without even knowing it. He's been helping pick out stuff for dinner and actually motivating me to cook. lol.

Last week was my vacation and boy was I happy. I was getting to the point where I was so tired of coming to work and dealing with ignorant people every day. Saturday Beth and I went to the flea market to sell some of the baby clothes that Josie has outgrown. I tried not to show it too much but every time I sold something that she wore, it hurt my heart. I can't believe that she has grown so much already! There weren't many people at the flea market this weekend so we only sold about $50 worth and that was all thanks to Beth's idea of telling people that whatever they could fit in the little black plastic bags they could have for $6. It worked out well.

After we left the flea market we went to the Nissan place to pick up an oil filter then we went to Walmart to have my oil changed and my tires balanced and rotated. They got my car lifted up and all the oil taken out and then realized that they had given me the wrong oil filter at the Nissan place. So they ended up putting a Wal-Mart one on there so I could go back to the dealership.

When I got there, the maintenance part was closed even though they were supposed to stay open until 4pm and it was only 3:30. Johnny Kenemer, the big shot over at the dealership, came out to talk to me. When I explained my problem he was a complete and utter asshole to me because I have a vagina and people with vagina's can't possibly know what they're talking about. He basically stood there and talked to me like I was an idiot and screamed in my face telling me that if I had been going to Walmart to get the oil changed, then maybe Walmart should take care of everything. What an ass! I left and told him that I would be back on Monday for my money back.

So today on my lunch break I headed back over there and went in to talk to the maintenance people. The guy that sold me the oil filter swore up and down that I didn't buy an oil filter from them on Saturday even though I had the damn receipt with the time and date on it. I asked to speak to someone who had two brain cells that were still viable and his manager came over. I explained what was going on and he apologized multiple times and gave me two oil filters instead of just the one that I was owed. Now, was that really that hard?! I definitely won't be going back there again!

Now I'm sitting at work waiting for Todd to get back from the dentist. Guess I'm going to go work on the guest list for Josie's birthday party. :)

Struggling......

Today I have been really struggling. I am ready to admit that I have an eating disorder of sorts. I wouldn't consider myself anorexic and definitely not bulimic, I just go long periods without eating. I know it's not good for me and I don't know why I do it. Ever since I got sick a few years back, I don't feel the hunger cues until I'm so hungry that it hurts, so it's incredibly easy to forget to eat. I know that sounds dumb and a lot of people wouldn't believe that, but it's true.

Then there are other times when I look at food and I'm just disgusted by the thought of it. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I'm working to fix it. I can't really talk about it with anyone because they always get overly worried about me and then they start pressuring me to eat constantly, even when I've just eaten a meal. I know they mean well, but it's hard to go from eating 600 calories or something to eating 2000. I have been trying to gradually increase my amount of food, but sometimes it's just hard.

Today I woke up with a massive headache because I didn't eat or drink enough last night before going to bed. Then, we were getting ready to go swimming and I was just so tired that I layed down on the couch. When I lay down, I don't feel as sick, but when I stand up or start walking, I get really light headed and my insides burn. I ALWAYS eat if I feel dizzy or sick. It's just sometimes I get to that point without realizing it. I'm trying my best to work on it and I vow that I will get healthier!

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the way I look. I'm actually entirely too conceited for my own good.  I could stand in front of a mirror for hours just staring at myself. I know that sounds bad, but I did just say I was conceited. So this eating thing has nothing to do with my outward appearance. Maybe it's something inside, like when I don't have control over certain things in my life, I can always control how much I eat.

It makes me sad and happy that I'm writing this blog and opening up. Sad because my family may read this, Tyler may read this, and then panic and start shoving food down my throat. I love my family with my whole heart, but I don't need constant reminders on how skinny and unhealthy I am. Trust me, I know. I'm trying to fix it. It makes me happy though, that I have the strength to share this instead of keeping it inside.

I vow that I will be stronger and healthier and that I will reach a healthy weight, not only for myself but for Josephine. I want to be a healthy mom for her. I WILL be a healthy mom for her! :)

Current weight: 113

Great start to my vacation

Well, today was a great start to my vacation. :) We went to a family get together down at the creek and Josie absolutely loved it! She really likes the outdoors, so I guess that's another thing that she takes after Tyler. She was really clingy though. She wouldn't go to anyone except Aunt Jean. She ended up sitting with her for a good 30 minutes. We got some great pictures with Aunt Jean, too.

So lately I've been thinking about getting a boob job. I know for a fact that that would surprise a lot of people, but the girls just aren't the same after having Josie. I used to have full b's almost c's and now they're pitiful little b's (almost a's). lol. I really don't want to go through the pain and not being able to hold Josie for 3 weeks. So I guess for right now it's not gonna happen. I told a "friend" of mine that I was thinking about it, and he asked if "I was tired of my bee stings." Seriously?! I know he meant it jokingly, but that's just rude. There's no reason for that to have been said. I'm not going to continue talking to people if they are just going to be ass hats. Plus, I always have a push up bra and I think I look damn sexy.
 :)

Well, I'm going to work on making my very first invoice to send out. I finally got the huge crochet order done for Darryl and I'll be sending it out on Monday. :)

Until tomorrow!

Life.

I was going to title this blog "everything except Christmas moves so quickly", but I figured that was pretty well summed up in that one word. Life. We all pretend to hate it at some point, but really we're all so incredibly lucky to be here. When I look at Josie, I can't help but smile because she is truly what makes my life perfect day after day. :)

We went down this afternoon to see Mama, Aiden and Beth. Josie was really quiet and didn't really play much. Her little booty is hurting her so bad from the diaper rash. We're taking her to the dr at 4 tomorrow to get it checked. It breaks my heart that she's hurting. :(

Well, I'll let ya know how everything goes at the appointment tomorrow.

Until tomorrow :)

Time flies....

Today has been a very busy day for me. I'm trying desperately to get the order of crochet baby stuff done for Darryl so I can send it to her. After work today, I went to every store imaginable looking for orthodontic bottle nipples for Josie, but no one carries them except ingles and they are out. I ended up buying a set of regular ones for her to try out and then I boiled her other ones. She actually took the new ones really well so I'm going to pick up some more of those tomorrow.

It seems so strange without freya here. We're giving her to Whitney's aunt because the timing is just not right for us to have a dog. I love her to death, but it's just too hectic to have to deal with her and everything else too. I know that Kathy will take really good care of her too, so that's comforting, knowing that she's going to a good home.

I can't believe that Josie is almost a year old! It makes me really sad sometimes because I know that we'll never get these days back. But then again, the bigger she gets the more she'll be able to interact with us. :) I came home from work today and it looked like she had grown a foot while I was gone. She's growing up so fast and I love her so much!

Perfection

Perfection... That's the only way to describe Josephine. She's the most perfect baby girl that we could have ever asked for. As soon as she wakes up and we get her out of her crib, there's a big smile on her face. I love waking up to that every morning!!! And Tyler is the best dad that I've ever seen. You can tell when he plays with her, or when he's comforting her when she's upset, you can just tell that she is his whole world. I'm so incredibly happy to have this amazing family. :)

Fireworks!!!

I'm sorry I haven't logged on lately. :( I've been super busy with trying to get the order for Daryll done. I told her I would have them done in 15 days and I really want to reach that goal. I haven't had a lot of time to crochet though, so it's been pretty hard to do.

We went to the fireworks tonight. :) I thought for sure that Josie would scream and cry but she wasn't even fazed by them. She just watched them and ate her bottle. We had to walk for a super long way and it wasn't really worth it. The fireworks show usually lasts about 30 minutes with an extra 5 minutes finale. Well this year it probably lasted 15 minutes and the finale was really weak and lasted about a minute.

We took Josie up to see grandma and grandpa too. She always cries when we first get up there but then she usually calms down. When she finally cheered up today, she started smiling and jabbering for them. She crawled across the couch too.

I got it on video the first time she crawled the other day. Tyler layed the remote on one of the couch, and then she just went. We were so excited and happy. She's slowly but surely getting the hang of it. She broke my heart yesterday though. Tyler was holding her and I went to get her and she pushed away, then when I got her she started screaming and reaching for Tyler. I know she's too young to know, but it still made me really sad. I hope it's just a phase. Lol.

Anyway, I'm gonna head to bed. I was going to crochet some but I'm just too tired.

Until tomorrow.